Confessions of an ignorant Football fan

I have always been a Football fan.Not of the clubs , but of the countries and the World cup specifically.Especially during the 2010 world cup , I watched almost all the matches in rapt attention.And not because all the hot sportsmen play football(That does constitute some part of my interest), I did find it genuinely interesting.

My knowledge of clubs are restricted to just their names...and the occasional mention of Christiano Ronaldo and Manchester United in the news and the occasional funny if not alarming war of words(sometimes blows) that my friends break into over whether Man U or Arsenal is better and how ridiculous Chelshit(Yes they call Chelsea that) is.

This summer , among my many other resolutions , one was to get my knowledge of football right - rules et all and the clubs especially. I started last night with the Man U vs Schalke match .

I would like to think that I emerged a wiser person at the end of it.But my road to wisdom wasn't one that was intelligent..or even close to it.Snippets from my side of a conversation through the match with a friend-who Im scared might have wanted to clobber me by the end of it.

"Raul Gonzalez is a good player no? I saw this cool poster of his in Landmark today"

40 minutes into the match "No one is putting goal :( "

"The Man U keeper looks Nice! "

"Hahaha . That Kutti chinese fellow in United called Parker or something is super cute on the field.Everyone is pushing him"

WHY ISN'T ANYONE PUTTING A GOAL(Notice grammar in times of excitement)

"Man U seems to be good on field.They run quickly no"

*at half time* "Is this match over?Why such a long break?" *2 minutes later* "They're Back!"(Followed by length of matches discussion)

"OMG This Schalke guy just caught this United guy by his neck and pushed him down.so bad!"

"Peer Kluge.Hahahaha What a funny name"

"The Refree is the Paavamest.He is running so much!"

*Tired response to this* "He gets paid to do that!"

"Shit whatte Save!"

"Goal!eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!Giggs Put it!!"

"Goal 2!!Rooney is the man!"

"IN YOUR FACE SCHALKE GOALIE!"

"Match over.All these players are removing shirts.Not that I mind."

After those 90 minutes...I thankfully emerged a wiser person.One thing I'm sure of..I'M A MANCHESTER UNITED FAN!They rock or what??

Oh and tonight is going to be Real Madrid vs Barcelona

In short Christiano Ronaldo vs Lionel Messi *Sigh!*

Ive snapped out of it. I'm a serious fan now.In a month for all you know..Ill be writing lengthy posts about the Mid field rule and the EPL . Watch out!

The not-so-Ignorant(or so she would like to think) Football Fan

Sharing and the likes

You Know how everyone gets that one stroke of inspiration??Most people wake up in the middle of the night with an idea in their heads , scurry for pen and paper and out comes out the most beautiful poetry or the most meaningful prose.

I had that stroke of inspiration too.This one night a week back..I was tossing and turning in bed since the next day was an exam and I somehow couldn't make myself go to sleep.When suddenly..Inspiration struck..I got this Idea in my head and in my half-drowsiness I reached out for my phone and typed fast...all what came into my head.

And when I woke up the next morning , I knew inspiration had struck me the previous night.So I eagerly turn to my phone and what I had written almost made me want to give up writing all together.Why ....WHY..... WHYY couldn't I have got that stroke of inspiration which could have helped me write beautiful sonnets or essays inspired by Mill or Strachey??

Anyways... I'm messed up ...I know.And Before you read this..Remember I was Half asleep.

Sharing is something we have all been taught since time immemorial. A concept that has been drilled into our heads since we got our first Jumbo box of crayons or that beautiful Doll. Mothers entice their children with the story of “Karna”, who was the epitome of generosity and sharing. And at some time, we all make silent promises within ourselves to imbibe that…..

But a few of us think different. As childish as it sounds, I’m not for sharing..Especially when it comes to food. We are a rare clan but we very much exist. And what really sets us apart?

· Our role model is Joey Tribbiani from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Not Karna and each time someone reaches across the dinner table to take food off our plates, our brain cells scream in agony.

· We are the ones who have the slightest trace of a frown when our Milkshakes or Drinks are “passed around” because it “Looks” good.

· We position ourselves at the end of a long table, preferably where the waiter is most likely to serve first. First helpings are the best….and the Biggest

· We are masters of the art of subtlety. Its packed lunch day? Then we proclaim loudly that we are especially hungry and dig in. God Forbid – The other person decides to sample your lunch!

· Sickness is a godsend. We do not mind faking it as well. Most commonly used phrases “You want a sip of my coffee? Sorry Bad cold “*Sheepish Grin*. After all no one enjoys the transfer of germs in particular.

We , again as a clan, lie hidden.Some (Or I think the only person in this case) manage to speak up and the result?Im sure every person will take it in them to scrutinize that person who mysteriously has a cold each time you go out as a group.I was forced to chose between a moral obligation and a duty and hence was forced to expose my kind.

But we are a good sort…trust me.